Saturday, September 3, 2011

Thirty Necessities for the Worldly Woman- Part 1



Let’s face it ladies- times have changed. We are well rooted into the 21st century. We are a different breed of women than our mums and grandmas. We are healthier, better educated, worldly wise, independent and smart. We are no longer dependent on a man (aka husband) for food, shelter, support and survival.
We work, we play, we dance with the big boys. They don’t like it much since they have a history of subjugation and control. They don’t like the gender and power gap closing. Many men are really afraid of strong women.
Nevertheless, we need to treat ourselves well (we deserve it) by surrounding our lives with quality goods and services that feed self-esteem. We must immerse ourselves in quality to energize thought and action.
Here are some necessities:
1.   A good haircut. It is true that one never has a second chance to make a first impression. In the business world, looking top notch helps one move ahead. If you look confident, others will know you won’t take their crap.  Make and keep timely salon appointments.  One tip- if you go too long between appointments, you will feel too embarrassed to show up looking shaggy.  DO NOT attempt to trim your shaggy do yourself before you go to the salon:

You: Sorry I had to reschedule twice. Work has been a bitch.
Stylist: This is an unusual growth pattern for 8 weeks. The left side has grown two inches longer than the right side. You may have a medial issue, too. Bunches of hair seems to have fallen out onto your collar.
You: Really- I can’t imagine…
Stylist: Who last cut your hair?
You: You did.
2.   Diamond earrings. Diamonds really can be a girl’s best friend. In a relationship you must establish ground rules early on about precious stones.

You: Come and see my new bling- diamond earrings.
Friend: This is what- the fourth new piece in a few months?
You: Yes. They really compliment this tennis bracelet.
Friend: Remind me how you keep getting these.
You: I tell every man I seriously date that he needs to keep me happy. If we ever have a serious “disagreement”, his apology when he comes to his senses must include a diamond.

3.   Monogrammed personal items. Sure- towels and handbags are at the top of the list, but class shows in the personalization of less common and often infrequently used necessities.

Nurse: You will need to change before the doctor comes in. You can hang your clothes on the hook behind the door. I’ll just leave this gown on the table for you.
You: No thanks, I brought my own.(extract monogrammed silk gown from handbag).
Nurse: Oh- so pretty. And the monogram…
You: (hands nurse a brochure) I am starting my own line. Take a look. I’ll set a meeting with the business manage for next week.

4.   Adequate closet space. It has been said that a woman never has enough closet space. Often this is because a man’s clothing is taking up useful space. Creative repurposing of household space may meet the need. Do you really use the guest bathroom? If not, there is a built in shower rod perfect for long item such as formal gowns. Linen closet shelves make great sweater storage spaces.  Vanity drawers hold socks neatly. Tub space is great for blankets, quilts and extra pillows which often clog closet shelves and fall off on one’s head.  Paris Hilton had a novel idea. She turned the exercise room in her mansion into a shoe closet. Mama suggests a spare kitchen cabinet become a jewelry cabinet with a few well-placed hook and containers. Add a mirror to the inside of the door and you are all set.

5.   Scrabble Dictionary: No more excuses for difficulty in word finding. More than 100,000  two- to eight-letter words including 4,000 new entries. Includes variant spellings. Why bother with letter tiles on a board or playing electronically. Streamline memos at the office so you have more time for social media posts or online shopping. The handy phone app allows instant subtle access to terse insults your boss will never understand.