Zebrudus: “ Da, %%$#@_)((“ )<”&^$#@ @ *& %%^* %$ *(&^%#.”
Mama: Haha. “)>”:^$$^ *&^&)*$$ ))* $%^&*())*^$#
Zebrudus: )(*^)( %^**(<>#$%Z%%FG^%
Mama: Come in.
Earline: (Enters office) You wanted to see me, Mama?
Mama: Yes, I did.
Earline: (Notices Zebrudus, blushes) Oh.. Um… I didn’t realize you were busy. (Looks up shyly) I can wait outside.
Mama: No, I want you to meet someone. Earline, this is Zebrudus. Zebrudus, may I introduce you to Earline.
Earline: (Looks up 15 inches to meet his eyes): Pppleased to meet you, Zebrudus.
Zebrudus: *^)G%$#FBK)**&% H$&&(%$ *&(m. (Encloses Earline’s small hand in his considerably larger paw and formally shakes her hand.)
Earline: Shakes out arm (Whispers to Mama ): I can’t understand a thing he says. Why is he here?
Mama: Earline, I thought you were interested in meeting him. You mentioned his tattoos the other day while we were involved in cleaning up storm damage. I recall you admired his musculature…
Earline: Shhh… I mean, what if he figures out I like him? This is embarrassing.
Zebrudus: (*UKK^%$#%^ L:H))(*&^$%&
Mama: <_(FD%R^ KHFT(^$ P(&TYHF%^&*H$## ^$#U
Earline: Mama, what are you saying?
Zebrudus: (Perfect English) Earline, I am honored that I came to your notice. It will make things easier than I anticipated.
Mama: Earline, Zebrudus speaks 7 languages fluently. He has a PhD in sports medicine and will be your close companion for the next year at least.
Earline: Why? I don’t get it.
Mama: No surprise. Earline, you swim like a dolphin and are almost a sure bet for a spot on the Olympic swimming team next year. However, let’s say there are gaps in your worldly knowledge and other skill areas. Additionally, if you become a star you will need some help maintaining a lifestyle of equilibrium even with my considerable help. Zebrudus will be there to ensure many things remain as they should.
Zebrudus: Your wellbeing is now my priority, Earline. I understand you begin University classes tomorrow.
Earline: I have to take Chemistry. It might as well be in whatever language you were talking.
Zebrudus: One of my favorite subjects. Not to worry.
Earline: I have my schedule here but I don’t understand…
Zebrudus: Let’s go have a cup of tea and look it over together. We can stop by the bookstore, too. The campus is only a short ways. It will make a nice walk.
Mama: Then that is all set. Off with you now. J(&6Hj$%&#$ )(&H )(j
I%^&f#$% (Just keep her safe. She need not know anything more yet.)
Zebrudus: &((jb$56j## )8bb$5 (I may be asking for a bonus soon). (They exit)
Mr. Muscles: (enters from another door) I hope you are sure about this.
Mama: It worked about the same with us, but times were a bit different when I won my first…
Mr. Muscles: Speaking of which, let’s go a bout or two. The new foils arrived yesterday.
Mama: My beat will trounce your foible any day.
Mr. Muscles: You still believe your balestra will put me in a bind.
Mama: I love it when you talk bondage.