Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Beat Goes On

Mama: “?><570872?”

Zebrudus: “ Da, %%$#@_)((“     )<”&^$#@   @ *& %%^*  %$ *(&^%#.”

Mama: Haha. “)>”:^$$^    *&^&)*$$   ))*  $%^&*())*^$#

Zebrudus: )(*^)(     %^**(<>#$%Z%%FG^% 

*Knock, Knock*

Mama: Come in.

Earline: (Enters office) You wanted to see me, Mama?

Mama: Yes, I did.

Earline: (Notices Zebrudus, blushes) Oh.. Um… I didn’t realize you were busy. (Looks up shyly) I can wait outside.

Mama: No, I want you to meet someone. Earline, this is Zebrudus. Zebrudus, may I introduce you to Earline.

Earline: (Looks up 15 inches to meet his eyes):  Pppleased to meet you, Zebrudus.

Zebrudus: *^)G%$#FBK)**&%    H$&&(%$    *&(m. (Encloses  Earline’s small hand in his considerably larger paw and formally shakes her hand.)

Earline: Shakes out arm (Whispers to Mama ): I can’t  understand a thing he says. Why is he here?

Mama: Earline, I thought you were interested in meeting him. You mentioned his tattoos the other day while we were involved in cleaning up storm damage. I recall you admired his musculature…

Earline: Shhh… I mean, what if he figures out I like him? This is embarrassing.

Zebrudus: (*UKK^%$#%^    L:H))(*&^$%&

Mama: <_(FD%R^    KHFT(^$   P(&TYHF%^&*H$##   ^$#U

Earline: Mama, what are you saying?

Zebrudus:  (Perfect English)  Earline, I am honored that I came to your notice.  It will make things easier than I anticipated.

Earline: Huuh?

Mama:  Earline, Zebrudus speaks 7 languages fluently. He has a PhD in sports medicine and will be your close companion for the next year at least.

Earline: Why? I don’t get it.

Mama: No surprise. Earline, you swim like a dolphin and are almost a sure bet for a spot on the Olympic swimming team next year. However, let’s say there are gaps in your worldly knowledge and other skill areas. Additionally, if you become a star you will need some help maintaining a lifestyle of equilibrium even with my considerable help. Zebrudus will be there to ensure many things remain as they should.

Zebrudus: Your wellbeing is now my priority, Earline.  I understand you begin University classes tomorrow.

Earline: I have to take Chemistry. It might as well be in whatever language you were talking. 

Zebrudus: One of my favorite subjects. Not to worry. 

Earline: I have my schedule here but I don’t understand…

Zebrudus: Let’s go have a cup of tea and look it over together. We can stop by the bookstore, too. The campus is only a short ways. It will make a nice walk.
Mama: Then that is all set. Off with you now. J(&6Hj$%&#$   )(&H )(j  
 I%^&f#$%  (Just keep her safe. She need not know anything more yet.)

Zebrudus:  &((jb$56j##  )8bb$5   (I may be asking for a bonus soon). (They exit)

Mr. Muscles: (enters from another door) I hope you are sure about this.

Mama: It worked about the same with us, but times were a bit different when I won my first…

Mr. Muscles: Speaking of which, let’s go a bout or two. The new foils arrived yesterday.

Mama: My beat will trounce your foible any day.

Mr. Muscles: You still believe your  balestra will put me in a bind.

Mama: I love it when you talk bondage.