Friday, May 20, 2011

The Electronic Cat

Welcome to my new blog.  One of my areas of interest is cats. I write about  all things cat for an online newspaper and have a couple guest blogs in cyberspace. While not limiting my options to cats alone, my writing will often encompass animal advocacy issues and almost always humor in some way.  So here is a repost of an earlier article about unusual animal traits. Enjoy!

There are several unusual types of cats and you may be the fortunate owner of one. This is not a discussion of a breed, but a behavior. All cats are unique in their individual "catness"; all share some similar personality traits. Beyond that, some have quirks and behaviors that make them quite different.

The Electronic Cat

This cat type needs to roost near or on some device that is connected to electricity. They are drawn to ohms and watts like, well, a cat to a mouse. A cat sense allows them to deduce the location and placement of small, electronic devices you own. Occasionally they will allow you access to these devices, but don't count on it.

The first device is the TV remote. Don't think about changing your channel- ever- when your cat is on the remote. Kitty will choose the channel and the program. She will also adjust the volume, select your favorite channels and set the timer. All this with just a purr and a flick of the tail.You are just out of luck. Consider your TV time an alternate entertainment zone. Reading a book could be a substitute for the TV, but Kitty will sit on it, too.
Don't even try to find the remote under the cat. Sliding one's hand under the Electronic Cat could be hazardous to your health. Be sure you have bandages and antiseptic handy just in case a momentary mental lapse occurs.

The Electronic Cat's second favorite device is the telephone. Often Kitty will lie next to the phone on the arm of the sofa. Kitty will make sure she is between you and the phone. Kitty will also double in size and become one with the sofa arm. When the phone rings, Kitty automatically adjusts her location to place all of her body between you and the handset. You will never be able to answer the call and Voicemail will become your best friend.

Kitty is equally adept at inhibiting cell phone connections. She instinctively knows where your cell is located in your clothing and will lie on that part of you. She will gain 20 pounds instantly when your cell rings so you can never reach into your pocket.  She can disconnect a caller with a whisker twitch, then  brazenly give you the Innocent Me stare.

Rounding out the top three is the computer. Keyboards enable cats to blog and network. Your busily typing fingers are irrelevant if it is Kitty's time to post or tweet. Cats have short deadlines with nap time always imminent. Laptops are self contained cat toys making an all-in-one entertainment center readily available. After all, the adjacent keyboard and mouse  cut down on that unnecessary moving around from component to component. And a mouse is a mouse.

So if you own an Electronic cat, you can plug into their antics. These kitties are special and powerful additions to your world.