Mama's Night Before Christmas

Mama’s Night Before Christmas (with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through North Punty

Few creatures were stirring; tomorrow was Sunday.

The campus was closed, the townsfolk in residence

Engaged in activities without any hesitance.

Earline was wrestling about in the bed

Doing whatever Zebrudus said.

And Mama in her teddy, upon Muscles’ lap

Was just getting into a private “night cap.”

When in the town square there arose such a clatter

They all sprang apart to see what was the matter.

Away to the doorways they flew like a flash

And into the mele to check out the crash.

Moonlight glinted off a tangle of wreckage

That sparkled and glowed like an off-worldly package.

Then what to their wondering eyes did appear

But Ta-Da and her sisters all dressed in their gear.

The stunning tall driver, releasing the stick

Climbed out of the cockpit; Ta-da swore, “Oh Shit!”

“Those sunspots messed up the engine’s capacitor

The GPS tanked, we spun, sinking faster.”

“Now Mama! Now Muscles! Earline and Zebrudus,

This chopper is wrecked, it really is useless.

What are we to do, with gifts to deliver?

Time’s running short, for this lame endeavor.”

“I’ll make a few calls,” Mama said on the fly,

“The night is still young, soon we’ll be in the sky.”

So off to the air base they dashed in a hurry,

The ground crew hopped to it, they moved in a flurry.

And then in a twinkling, the rotors were spinning

The hold filled with packages, Ta-da now grinning.

As she held the collective, Mama’s head turned around,

Leaping up from the skid, Santa came with a bound.

He was dressed all in beachwear from head to his foot

He buckled his seat belt so he would stay put.

“Wouldn’t miss this for anything,” laughed the grand man,

“Gotta keep Ta-da’s secret, the Guardians’ plan.”

“This kingdom of Amazons toil, they don’t tarry.

The elves have retired, but I’m still a bit wary.

The planning and plotting the routes the gals go

We do in the tropics, to heck with the snow.

“Earline’s with Zebrudus, she’ll do as she’s bidden,

She’s too young to know more, this secret stays hidden.”

They nodded and smiled, and winked in agreement

Knowing this was not the time to be lenient.

They spoke not a word but went straight to their work,

Delivered the goodies; none wanted to lurk.

Finished at last, most went home to their bed.

But not Santa nor Muscles nor Mama, who said,

“To our friends round the world, here’s our gift just for you:

Happiness, joy, and a little fun, too.

Be wonderful parents, and spouses and lovers.

What you wish for you, do unto others.

“Never give up; your dreams can come true

Look deep within- you’ll know what to do.”

Raising a glass in the waning moonlight:

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

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