Mama: Well, Earline- we finally finished cleaning out all those closets.
Earline: Yes, Mama, it was a LOT of work sorting and deciding what to keep, sell or repurpose. But the auctions went very well, didn’t they?
Mama: Yes, dear, the profits will go a long way in helping pay for the restoration of this building. It really has beautiful bones and once finished, it will be reborn into another life.
Earline: It sure needed it.
Mama: Yes, and now we are on our way to helping athletes prepare for the games next summer. Let’s go finish up the attic.
Earline: My iPad is all ready to do the invention again
Mama: That’s inventory, dear- one takes inventory.
Earline: OK- The spider collection, T Rex bones and the Phyllis Diller wigs were enough. I just hope we don’t find more of those boots here. Who keeps 700 pairs of shoes?
Mama: Imelda was quite something in that regard. And these were the Intimate Collection; hence the high heels, backless pumps with feathers, peep toes, chain mail, and lights. Now that Paris person is doing almost the same. She converted her exercise room into a shoe closet.
Earline: (Turns on attic lights) Mama: what are all these round boxes stacked up all over?
Mama: Hat boxes, Earline. Hats were an important part of fashion throughout history. They lent glamour and beauty and a distinguishing touch to a lovely outfit.
Earline: But they would mess up my hair.
Mama: Stop whining, Earline. It’s not about you. Your name is not Me Me.
Earline: No, it’s Earline- you know tha… Oh- I get it, haha.
Mama: (opens first box) Hm.. I see the initials MP are inside.
Earline: Why does that straw hat have the price tag still on it? It doesn’t look new.
Mama: MP- Minnie Pearl- a Nashville legend at the Grand Old Opry. There must be 20 of her hats here.
Earline: Opera? I had to listen to that as part of the culture courses you made me take. Those people didn’teven write songs in English. And the tunes aren’t at all catchy. I can’t sing them in the car.
Mama: Let’s move on, dear- just write it down.
Earline: Here’s a pile with ER II on the outside. They sure look fancy- gold ribbon, leather handles, a castle drawing.
Mama: I suspected as much. Liz was always forgetting something on her trips. I’ll have to give her a call later, but I am sure she won’t want them now. One can recycle hats only so many times.
Earline: Mama- what is this door back in the corner?
Mama : Stand back, dear.
*CREAK* Door opens slowly to reveal a male figure huddled in the corner of a makeshift room.
Mama: (peering in): Who is…? Chuck- is that you again? Come out here right now!
Charles MW: (whining) Mama- - please, I am not myself.
Mama: You certainly are not- especially considering ... Er-Just because Camilla is helping Kate redecorate, it doesn’t mean you can hide out and play dress up with your mum’s old clothes. Now take off that hat and man up.
CMW: Yes, ma’am. Please don’t tell her…
Mama: You are a 60 year old man. Act your age- well maybe you are, but it is unbecoming to your station. And you know I have your mum on speed dial.
CMW: What do you want, Mama?
Mama: Well- a donation to Eddie the Eagle Suite renovation would be quite appropriate.
Earline: *Cough, cough*
Mama: And, is Harry busy this weekend?