Monday, August 15, 2011

Handcuffs, Feathers and a Pole

Mama: (on phone) Yes, Chancellor, it should be an enlightening evening. I will arrive early with Handcuffs and Feathers so you can have some private time…
Earline: (from doorway) Ahem…
Mama: Binky, you know the Trustees always leave with smiles on their faces.. Ah- I must go now. Business awaits. See you tonight. Smooches back. (Disconnects)
Earline: Mama- what are you talking about- Handcuffs and Feathers? Are you studying law enforcement?
Mama: No, Earline.
Earline: I was wondering. The handcuffs would work but I couldn’t quite understand the feathers. (Sits down across desk from Mama)
Mama: Those are just nicknames for Drs. Handcraft and Fenders, the psychiatrist friends of mine. We have known each other for many years.  
Earline: What are they doing here?
Mama: The University is considering expanding its courses in the Women’s Studies genre to include more psychology and psychiatry related offerings. The hope is to soon offer a psychiatry degree program targeting women as students. Studies show that women who have experienced a traumatic event prefer women counselors, considering the nature of many crimes against women.
Earline: Mama, that is a great idea. I wish my family had that help a few years ago. Maybe I would know who they are now.
Mama: Well, you received appropriate care once you came to me, and we all worked hard to get you to where we are now.
Earline: Yes, I am happy here. Will the doctors help set up the program?
Mama: That is the plan. They are presenting an overview to the University Board and certain donors. They will be relocating here for several months off and on to keep the flow going.
Earline: How did they become Handcuffs and Feathers?
Mama: A long time ago, in an entertainment town far, far away, three young college students became good friends as part of a “dance”  troupe. That was back in the days of…Well, those details aren’t important. Just remember that balancing a 3 foot high feather headpiece while dancing in spike heels can be challenging.
Earline: I imagine so…
Mama: Studying and working full time became quite stressful, so the three friends decided to start our, er …their own small business. Thus Handcuffs and Feathers. They became very popular; we, er …they were quite skilled. They could work part time and still attend classes.
Earline: Did you, er… they meet famous people?
Mama: Of course, especially in that town. Tom was really into Handcuffs and Wayne and Feathers became quite an item.
Earline: But what about you, er… the 3rd friend?
Mama: Oh I, er… she was the Pole. Handcuffs, Feathers and the Pole. (Smiles) Those were some interesting times.
Earline: Then what happened?
Mama: Suddenly things picked up and graduate education expenses weren’t a problem. The act folded but the nicknames stayed. Handcuffs and Feathers have become two of the leading female teaching and treating psychiatrists in the country.  They are pioneering many aggressive strategies that can be easily applied worldwide to help with gender equality.
Earline: Mama- what ever became of  the 3rd person in the act: The Pole?
Mama: I still have it in the bedr..*cough* . Um, er…
Mr. Muscles: (slipping into the office): Earline- how about if you take a break and go swim a few laps.
Earline: Ok- I need a break from all this thinking. Bye. (Exits)
Mr. Muscles: (Runs a finger down Mama’s jaw) Now, what was that you were saying? Feathers- that was Tuesday.
Mama: (beneath Mr. Muscles lips): Mrff…
Mr. Muscles: Handcuffs- (Rubs wrists) There is still the issue of a missing key…
Mama (slips necklace holding small key out of pocket and into desk drawer as Mr. Muscles heads out the door): I have no idea where it could be.  None whatsoever…
Mr. Muscles: Then you will have to search for the pole.
Mama:  (Close behind) Work, work, work…